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The heartthrob guy beats his girlfriend, or the magazine-cover woman sleeps with three more guys.

It’s suddenly harder to even look at pictures of them anymore. You see the same pictures differently now — same hair, same eyes, same figure — all suddenly unappealing, unattractive. God has wired us to appreciate beauty in his design — to find men (for women) or women (for men) physically appealing — and that is a real and important element in our pursuit of marriage, and eventually in our flourishing within the covenant.

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You see them, even their physical appearance, differently now. Ask sixty-year-old love birds if they’re still “physically attracted” to each other.

Some of them are more attracted to each other than ever, and it’s because they’re gaining weight, losing their hair, or having more trouble getting around. The wrinkles are the years of faithfulness and bliss spent together.

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Or, what role, if any, should physical appearance play in Christian dating? I would say, “No.” Or at least, “Not yet.” Given the common assumptions and practices in our society today, including the church, I do not believe a man (or woman) should begin a dating relationship with someone to whom they are not physically attracted.

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That being said, I also believe that physical attraction is far deeper and more dynamic, even spiritual, than we tend to think. Real, meaningful, durable attraction is far more than physical.

A man or woman’s physical appearance only plays one role in what makes them attractive or appealing.

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