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I don’t want to make you angry or scare you off I just don’t know how to express myself. Emotions are walled off so as to not feel vulnerable, leaving intimacy dead in the water.
Though even if there’s some fight involved, it usually moves to flight.
A case is built by the avoider to stop the relationship and to shut down their emotions, such as by being critical, finding faults in the other, and losing sexual interest. Asking certain questions can clarify this : The emotion of love makes us feel vulnerable.
As emotions go deeper the other person starts to tread on past wounds and any pain left over from past abandonments.
Powerful drugs in the body promote attachment to your partner-oxytocin, pheylethylamine, opioids, dopamine, and prolactin, as well as becoming addicted to each other’s pheromones.
The wires are either put into another new relationship to prohibit the shock of pain and disconnection (in an unhealthy manner), or in remaining alone for a period of time, the brain continues to search for its lost object-the other half of your hormonal regulatory system. In order to feel complex and deep emotions for someone in dating, we need to take risks. I don’t mean to hurt people or make them crazy it’s just what I think inside! Things that are irritating or large problems are internalized and stuffed away, versus being brought out. The emotions are released through one or many of the following non-exhaustive list of items: You could classify the avoider mentality as a large amount of defences rolled into one complex milieu of mechanisms to prevent any further trauma. Transferring into relationships (should they occur), the avoider stays quiet about many hard to face issues.